


a game of cat and snake can't last forever

by kuroyukihorror



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Adam is a stupid idiot in love, Angst and Feels, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, There's some otasune and mantis/liquid in later chapters, and John is oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22567039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuroyukihorror/pseuds/kuroyukihorror
Summary: five times adamska couldn't tell john about his feelings, and one time he did (but not to his face)
Relationships: Big Boss/Ocelot, Liquid Snake/Psycho Mantis, Otacon/Solid Snake
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

_September 1st, 1964_

Adamska was a proud creature.

Many would consider it a flaw, but it was also a very useful quality of his. Nobody dared to mess with him on base besides Ivan, who he could very well ignore as long as he didn’t get Volgin involved in his antics. Most people were terrified of his casual gun-spinning, and when he asserted something, people rarely contradicted him.

That all changed when he met John.

When they first met, they were Ocelot and Snake, not John and Adamska. The realness just added another layer of complexity to their relationship. John was American, and loyal to a fault. Adamska wouldn’t proclaim true loyalty to anyone, no matter the situation. And so they danced around each other, ideals and actions clashing time and again until it came to a head in the helicopter.

“Pick a gun.” He offered, gesturing to the two revolvers on the ground. Snake crouched down and grabbed one hesitantly, refusing to take his eyes off Ocelot. The blond leaned over and took the other, showing no such mistrust. They each took three paces away from each other, Ocelot’s spurs clinking against the metal floor.

For a moment, the world around them drowned out. Eva’s shouts, the noise of the helicopter’s blades whirring, it was all silent as they spun to face each other, rapidly pulling the trigger.

Snake got six empty chambers. Ocelot got five empty chambers and a blank. They just stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, adrenaline spiked and muscles tensed.

“A blank.” He explained with a smirk, dropping the gun. Snake didn’t return the motion, but he didn’t mind. He had so many things he wanted to ask him, but it was all too soon. He couldn’t bring himself to ask about what he really wanted to know, so he settled for something else.

“What’s your name?” The simple question caught them both off-guard. Snake didn’t expect him to be so prying, and Ocelot didn’t expect himself to ask something so simple.

“...My name’s Snake.” He answered after a quiet moment. Ocelot rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue.

“No, I meant your real name. I’m not an ocelot, and you’re not a snake.” He sensed the hesitation and decided to help him along. “My name is Adamska.” He watched with a more genuine smile as Snake seemed to relax just a bit.

“My name’s… John.” He said, finally lowering his gun. And like that, Snake and Ocelot became John and Adamska, two men who happened to be on the same battlefield instead of two soldiers.

“Well, John, I’d like to stick around, but…” He stepped backwards to the open edge of the helicopter. “I’ve got business to attend to.” John reached out as if to grab him, but he had already taken the step off the edge, falling downwards gracefully to a boat waiting for him.

“We’ll meet again soon, John. I swear it.” He murmured to himself, watching as the helicopter flew off towards the setting sun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drug allegory tw about halfway through, sorry for not updating. I got pretty demotivated, but I should be working more on this now

_August 17th, 1979_

Ocelot stood over John's comatose body, impassively looking down at him as if he were one of the nurses who would routinely come to check on him. He would remain as visually impassive as ever. He couldn't risk being found out, after all. He wasn't supposed to be here, he had a thousand other things to do right now, yet... He could never help himself when it came to John. It was as if he became a different person when thinking about him, thoughts far from rational and standing on the borderline of acting on them. It went against everything he'd ever known, but... He wanted to leave his whole life behind just to be with John. 

In a way, he mused to himself, he already had. All his work was centered on him now, especially what he's setting up with Diamond Dogs and Ahab. It was all for John's sake, and only for him. The Patriots, Cipher, anyone else was entirely irrelevant to his goal to give John the world, perfectly gift-wrapped and on a silver platter. He knew how much he was risking just for him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Snake was his world, and he was completely fine with it.

He was obsessed, he had come to realize. John was like a drug he couldn't get enough of, a rush he was absolutely addicted to. And standing over him wasn't a good enough fix. He slowly but confidently reached out a hand to cradle his cheek, only to pull away when a nurse peeked in.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't be touching him." She spoke cordially, as if he were just visiting family of a random patient. Good. He had to remain unknown.

"Of course, of course." He nodded, folding his hands together gently. She smiled at him, a gentle expression that he knew wasn't genuine.

"Visiting hours are over. You're free to visit again tomorrow!" She reassured him, opening the door and standing to the side so he could leave. He glanced over at John one last time.

This was supposed to be his chance to confess, to have a moment of catharsis, even if it was only with his comatose body. But his plans had to proceed. Next time he'd see John, he'd be perfectly brainwashed. His gaze returned to the nurse with a polite nod.

"Of course." He'd spent too long in his head, as usual. As he left the hospital, he was stuck with that settling guilt and sorrow, already craving that next hit of John. But he knew his next interaction wouldn't be real. It'd be Ahab, the medic transformed into the man he loves. It wouldn't be pure, it'd be diluted until it wouldn't give him that satisfaction anymore.

He silently hopes that the brainwashing will remove the burden of knowledge from him so he can feel that first high again.


End file.
